Last week I auditioned with the Actors Ensemble of Berkeley. They are a company that does staged readings of plays. I auditioned for Pirandello’s “Henry IV” and “Proof” by David Auburn. I won’t lie, I was nervous. I had already chickened out of an audition a few months ago. I haven’t acted in over four years, and the thought of getting back into it sent chills up my spine. I still don’t really understand why. I’ve never been afraid of being in front of people. It’s like I became another person after having children, someone who didn’t have the abilities the old me had. This was a terribly depressing to me. I had to know for sure if I needed to hang up my acting cloak for good, so I went to the auditions, nervous as hell.

Then a funny thing happened. I got there, I read for them, and I wasn’t nervous at all. It felt great in fact. I didn’t get a part, but that was fine, not getting cast in either play effected me less than when a company rejects a play I’ve written. Maybe I’m a writer at heart after all.

By the way, my head shot and acting resume are RIDICULOUS. I might have to post them later on just for a laugh.