Moving back in time folks. Today I’m presenting you with my 23rd play in the 31 Plays in 31 Days challenge, it’s called Father’s Birthday. Enjoy!

Father’s Birthday a short play by Rachel Bublitz

Characters:

Father, m, 35-50, any race.

Mother, f, 35-50, any race.

Daughter, f, 15-18, any race.

Son, m, 10-14, any race.

Setting:

A dining room.

A dinning room. FATHER, MOTHER, DAUGHTER, and SON all sit down for dinner.

DAUGHTER Dinner is delicious!

SON Sure is!

FATHER Thanks kids! I love providing healthy and nutritious meals for my family!

MOTHER Would you mind grabbing some salt for me, dear?

FATHER Salt?

MOTHER Yeah.

FATHER Salt isn’t healthy!

MOTHER Well this needs something.

FATHER stands.

FATHER Why don’t you tell me how you really feel?

FATHER takes everyone’s plates, piles them onto the main dish in the middle, picks it all up and exits with the dishes.

SON Nice going, mom.

DAUGHTER Yeah, real sensitive.

MOTHER I’m sick of eating this crap, okay?

We hear a loud crash. SON exits after FATHER, after a moment, SON enters.

SON Dad through everything on the floor.

MOTHER Again?

DAUGHTER Should have kept your mouth shut.

MOTHER I just asked for a little salt. IS THAT SO WRONG?

FATHER enters.

FATHER Farewell children, I am leaving the house.

SON Come on, dad.

FATHER It’s true this time. I’m leaving FOREVER!

FATHER moves to exit. MOTHER blocks his way.

MOTHER Babe, sit down.

FATHER I’m sick of you undermining me! I want to go where I’m appreciated, where I’m loved.

DAUGHTER I love you daddy!

FATHER You don’t count!

MOTHER Now you need to relax. I love you.

FATHER Prove it.

MOTHER I was going to wait until after dinner…. But…

FATHER What? Did you get me something? Did you? Did you? Did you? Did you?

MOTHER Check the kitchen.

FATHER exits. A moment later FATHER enters with a small wrapped present.

FATHER Oh, I thought you had forgotten my birthday!

MOTHER I wanted it to be a surprise. Go on, open it!

FATHER opens the present, it is a pearl necklace.

FATHER PEARLS?

MOTHER You like them?

FATHER They’re magnificent! Come here son, help me get this on!

SON goes to FATHER, and puts the necklace on HIM.

DAUGHTER They look great.

SON Beautiful!

MOTHER Happy birthday!

FATHER I don’t know what to say!

FATHER starts to cry.

SON I sure hope I find a lady willing to put up with all my mood swings when I grow up!

FATHER You will son, if you’re lucky like me.

FATHER, SON, DAUGHTER, and MOTHER embrace.

FATHER (CONTINUED) Now who wants a pizza?

End of play.